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Would you please tell America, what prompted your return?”Ben smiles at the camera and replies, “Yes I will tell you why we are back. I fought these terrorists in multiple countries and I’m not about to let them chase us from our home here in America.”I ask, “So where were you on your exile?”Jennifer answers, “Sorry Samantha, but we can’t reveal our whereabouts on the exile.”I continue, “Aren’t you worried that the terrorists will attack you again?”Ben replies, “You mean like they already tried this morning with the car bomb at the front gate? I welcome the chance to kick their...”Jennifer covers Ben’s mouth and interrupts, “ ... Derrieres.”Ben hugs her and says, “Thanks my wife. Like I was saying I welcome the chance to kick their rears back to the hell they crawled out of.”Then Ben asks, “Samantha, how much do you know about the Muslim religion?”I confess, “Just a little.”Ben continues, “The Muslim religion was founded by the prophet Muhammed who the Muslims say is the last prophet. Tough shit, I’m a SALTHAWK! So are YOU! Here’s where you get to check inside your jocks and see if you’ve got some balls in there. I could play both ways. I’ve done it before. Guess what? I’m not going to. You want to win this game? You want to EARN those new jerseys, EARN those shiny helmets you’re wearing? Get your asses out there and get us a turnover at the start of the third quarter. Prove that you want to go to Emporia, and more importantly, that you DESERVE to go to Emporia, with or without me!”When we ran back out to kick off for the third quarter, I almost felt sorry for their kick returner. He caught the ball, just like he’d done in the first quarter. He started down the field, just like he’d done in the first quarter. This time, though, he ran into Pete Rogers. Literally. Which meant that when the pile cleared, Andrew Galloway was the one with the football in his hands, on their 40 yard line. They had to help their returner off the field. He’d been knocked cold for almost.
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